wartortles:

sometimes u just need ur genitals massaged by someones mouth u know

(via penissauce)

americugh:

When a cute boy sneezes I don’t say bless u because I see that god already has

(via hoe-my-god)

littlemsbetty:

deerstalkingjawn:

australiansanta:

thesociallyawkwardasian:

queerlava:

thesociallyawkwardasian:

how do mermaids have babies

do you think the people who play teletubbies feel horny on set sometimes

why didn’t tarzan have a beard

how many things are there

How do ducks masturbate 

The night blogging is strong with these ones.

(via ladyzombieee)

andivictoria:

andivictoria:

this douchebaggy ass woman sitting behind us has been wearing sunglasses all dinner ugh stop

nevermind she’s blind

(via ladyzombieee)

barktravisbark:

my life plan is to one day be walking down the street and run into my favourite band member and pretend i don’t know who they are and act like i don’t run a blog dedicated to their existence and start a normal conversation and then they will think “wow she’s pretty cool and she’s not a crazed fan i’m going to ask her out for dinner” and then 5 years after we’re married i’ll say 

i knew you were in the band

i knew

(via ladyzombieee)

that-jolly-tardis-sound:

twinkle twinkle little star,

how i wonder what you are

it’s a flaming ball of gas,

learn some science you dumbass

(via penissauce)

So okay let me just blog about this because wow

My debate teammate this girl that I thought was really cool she just wow

well I decided to comment on her new profile pic saying oh look at my winky face and how I would wish to relieve the whole trip again she responded with “ew” and how she’s “glad it’s over” and I told her I meant the fun parts and she said “no because you made the fun parts SUCK”

and then blocked me

it surprised me so much I tried txting her to find out what was up and why she would block me

she txted me this right now: “Because you are hella annoying and gross looking and…Ugh i just cant stand the way you are…”

well glad the bitch truth came out and even if it hurts me my only question is she can do a better job cropping me out if she really thinks I’m gross looking.

WOW I’m so surprised and well I kept thinking the best part of the trip was making friends. Change that to friend. What a bitch.